Every relationship loses its fire sooner or later. Sexual attraction is not the glue that will keep your relationship going on the long run. As most sexologists recognize, once the passion starts burning out, a more intimate connection and a longer-lasting friendship start blooming. That's what will keep it going. 

But. 

What's not normal is finding the thought of your partner touching you or getting close to you revolting. Although it's fine not to have an intense sex life once the relationship grows longer, not finding your boyfriend or girlfriend attractive is a bad sign. 

You should still be stirred by memories of intimacy, and occasionally be looking for physical contact. If that thought just made you cringe, the relationship is heading the wrong way. 

You used to think no fault could be too big to overshadow your love for your significant other, but now even a coffee cup left on the kitchen counter drives you insane? Time to reflect. 

Tolerating and even learning to 'like' someone else's weaknesses is part of every long-lasting relationship. If you start feeling that what they do wrong isn't compensated by the positivity they bring into your life, it's probably a sign that your time together is drawing to an end. 

A very simple question to ask yourself here is: Would i feel better if they weren't here?  

No relationship is real without some fights. They are completely normal and even heathy, as long as you do it the right way. 

Arguing can help resolve conflict, bring passion back into the relationship, and provide an outlet for repressed feelings. All this is true if you manage to include what psychologists call 'closure' to your arguments: forgive each other and move on. 

If you fight more frequently than before, and for silly reasons, something is wrong. Worse, if both of you keep bringing up past mistakes, scoring points, resort to offending each other and stop communicating for days, then something is seriously wrong. 

It's time to sit down and decide where this relationship is going. 

Everybody has the occasional fantasy about some other guy or girl, and, why not, the occasional dream of that quiet apartment with a view just for themselves. Nothing unusual there. 

But if these thoughts are becoming more and more frequent, maybe it's time to start listening to yourself. It's entirely possible that your subconscious is sending you a very strong message that it's time to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Never discount your feelings! 

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