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How Can You Tell If Your Husband Is Gay?
Posted on October 18th, 2018 
It's estimated that over 50% of gay man in a straight relationship will never come out of the closet on their own. What are the signs you should look out for to tell if your man is actually gay? 

How it starts 

If you're one of the thousands of women who are wondering 'what's wrong with me' because you're husband or boyfriend doesn't seem to be attracted to you at all, stop worrying. 
Or maybe don't stop, but stop thinking there's something wrong with you. 

Have you ever thought he could actually be into men? 

It is estimated that more than 4 million women are or have been married to a gay man, and that over 50% of their husbands never come out of the closet. This can be due to cultural and background inhibitions, or to the fear of hurting the feelings of their wife or girlfriend. 

Most women start suspecting that there might be something wrong in their relationship when things don't go so well in the bedroom. In the case of covertly gay man, this happens very early on. Let's see what other signs are common indicators that your partner might be playing for the other team.
  • Extreme grooming: Your man spends more time than you getting ready, his hair is flawless and he's very worried about his appearance.
  • Lack of passion: He doesn't approach you or want to be intimate with you, and when it happens sex is very mechanical. He doesn't want to spend time on foreplay. 
  •  Homophobia: He's intolerant towards gay people, and he's very interested in any conversation that includes the topic.
  •  Absence: He's often out with friends, or with his best friend. Goes on weekends away without you. Goes to gay bars with the excuse that ''he's only going to support his gay friend''.
  •  Change in interests: He has become very interested in interior design, fashion, gardening or theatre. Of course we know this sounds like a cliche, but it's a fact that many gay man enjoy these 
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Sounds familiar? Start investigating

If you recognize some or all of these signs, you should start investigating. 

Thanks to the wonders of the digital age, most men today live their secret gay life through the internet. Watching porn, using chat rooms, or signing up to meeting websites and apps. 

Your quest for the truth should start by checking out his digital habits. Is he taking calls behind closed doors? Is he constantly texting someone? Does he lock his phone as soon as you get close? You're on the right track. 

You should try to get into his laptop an mobile phone. If you are able to do that, here is an easy-to-follow checklist of what to look for.
  • Browsing history: access his browser and look at what websites he's been visiting recently. Any gay porn or chat sites? 
  •  Messages and Whatsapp: A quick search will reveal if he has been meeting someone secretly or even just flirting with them. Look for contacts with no name or with male names
  • Apps: A rapid scroll through the home screen and the application folders can reveal some unexpected surprise. Look for men-only dating apps like Grindr, Scruff or Jack'd, but don't forget to keep an eye on the presence of non-gay apps like Tinder
Sure... But what if he's smarter than that? 

We hear you, and you're right. Most men are able to cover their tracks efficiently. Texts are easily deleted, and so is the browsing history. Stats show that over 30% of Grindr users delete the app every day only to reinstall it the next day. 

The only possible solution to fully track digital activity is the use of device control solutions. We do not recommend this, as these applications are mainly developed for parents, and depending on where you live using them on your partner without them knowing can constitute and infringement of privacy. 

However, if you do want to go down that road, you'll be amazed at what you can see. Not only text messages, Whatsapp convos and contacts, but also what apps are installed at any point in time, browsing history, keystroke tracking, photos, notes, emails. The works. 

We've tried a lot of services, and the one we would definitely recommend is Publicseek. They partner up with Spyfone, and the bundle of background checks, reverse phone lookup and phone monitoring they offer is great value for money (actually cheaper than buying Spyfone or any similar service on its own).

Good luck!

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